Will Love for Help

02Nov09

I have a new love and admiration for those around me that I simply didn't have before this new.. not-so-fun part in my life.

The amount of people who are doing anything they can to help me is, well, absurd. But in a good way. My broker-than-me (at the moment) dad even sent me a check just in case.. I don’t care who you are, that’s sweet.

My friends are helping me pay for, find, or fix up things I need. Which I am so not used to after living here for the past 3 years. People sincerely and genuinely caring for and about me is practically foreign at this point. It feels taboo to accept help from someone, but I’m enjoying it completely.. in that rebellious kinda way.

And the friends who have actually whole-heartedly offered to help me move? *gasp* ..Now that’s just too fucking weird. ❤

And I don't even have to mention those who have simply shared their hatred for my current situation. That means the world to me. Angry emails from friends about everything that's going on really does make my day.

But what makes my day even more? The AT&T lady ignoring the fact that I went over my 200 text message limit by another 200, and upgrading me to unlimited. She's my hero. Because I'm fairly certain they aren't supposed to do that. lol.

No.. what makes my day even more than that is knowing that even thought shit will be rough, I'll be out of here. Out of this house. Out of taft. Out of south texas. This place is like a disease and I refuse to get it.

The 7th is coming soon. And that means happiness is coming even sooner. Not to mention the 8th. Which I have to admit, I look forward to every day. I even got my own bowling shoes (to match my bff's *kick*), and I practice my moves in the hallway with my socks on. Mhm. I'm not ashamed. ;]

Hanging out with friends, good times, good conversations, no one freaking out and getting pissed off for absolutely no reason and storming out of the room and saying "fuck you" as they walk off… well, it's like a new fetish of mine. Being able to just have a good time, smile, laugh, and have fun? ..It seems like it'd be so simple, but I know that's not true all the time. But it will be for me. Very soon.

And that look.
You know that look.
I love that look.

I never thought it'd feel so good to be single again. I also never thought I'd feel so damn confident. Something clicked in me, and it clicked hard. Remember Delena? Well, she's back with a god damn vengeance, so get ready.

Oh. And art. Don't even get me started. My creativity is at an all-time high. It's almost difficult to keep up with. Thankfully I can type fast enough on my iPhone (Charlee) to catch all my ideas as they come effortlessly streaming out of my brain. Movies. Photography. Clothing. Everything. I want to make, create, build, devise, plan, shape everything I think up. And now I can. No judgment. No discouragement. No false love. Only me and my many outlets.

This is what she feels like all the time.
I've wanted to be her again.
And it feels good.

<3LL

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