I like


..sleeping in awkward positions because my cat already picked their spot and they look so comfy.



Lips (granted, that’s stain..)


Entertainment center.

All of the closet.
No, really, everything.
Yes, even the hanger rod. Yes, the shelf too. Yes! The trim, as well! I said everything, fuck!


I think it’s safe to say we have a happy lena on our hands. Yep. That’s how happy I am, that I’m talking about myself in third person. Wanna fight about it?

So I’m staring at my red closet as the paint dries, and I think.. This closet goes up really high. The ceiling light from my bedroom is simply not going to be enough to light this bitch up properly to embrace the WOW that is the disgusting awesomeness of the closet. Yep. The wow of the awesome, of the disgust. Mhm. That’s what I said.

Accent lights?

Yay, I say, yay! Home Depot run, anyone? Yes, says father. Under cabinet lighting? 3 for $20? They better ROCK!

…….I am officially in love.

Those little bastards were hell to install, but HOLY. FUCKING. MOLY. It’s ggggorgeous. ..and just a little *epic*. No shit, it’s straight out of an IKEA mag. lol.

I’m glad I came home. For like 222+ reasons.


Jekyll wants to be awake, wants to be productive, wants to do amazing things but has this weakness that only Hyde can fix. So Jekyll is forced to turn to Hyde occasionally to remedy this. Hyde, of course, has other plans and wants to take over. It takes everything Jekyll has to keep Hyde subdued.

..I just hope I’m not overcome by my Hyde.

I do not like sleep. But I want sleep.

But I’ve said no. I slept enough. I should not be tired, and I should not keep myself unconscious from the world and the possibilities and opportunities. God dammit, Hyde, STFU!


(..and you thought I was predictable. ha.)

Fuzzy Postcards Promote Feline Adoption

Every year millions of dogs and cats are put to sleep because there are too many of them and not enough people willing to adopt them. This unique direct mail piece is uniquely designed to tug at those heartstrings and increase pet adoption. Not only did the piece grab the attention of the recipients, it got the attention of the media as well. According to Direct Daily: “Within the first week of mailing, five articles had been written and a story was run on a local current affairs TV program (free coverage worth $85,000 from a mailing costing a total of $269).” Overall, a great showcase of how using promotional products in direct mail can increase effectiveness in a number of ways. (See also: direct mail promos for Vonage and Blackberry.)


omg, go adopt a cat right now. DO IT RIGHT NOW! GO!!

Landmines are one of the most deadly legacies of 20th century warfare.A landmine is basically an explosive device that is triggered by pressure.



…am feeling slightly betrayed. Hmmph.

But I think I’ve given up.

On people in general. Relationships. Foundations. Perceptions. Etc, etc.

I think what I think I think is usually wrong, and what I think is wrong is usually what I think others think is right.

I think…

That love is never unconditional. That there are always games. I think there’s always the strong and the weak, and powerplays will always exist. I think no two people can ever really be in love, because one will always be the heavier hearted, and the other will either know and not care, or not know .. and which is worse?

I think I’ve given up on my feelings. I overanalyze people, situations, dialogue, and fuck.. everything else, for that matter. I observe and take notes, and for what? I can only be as right as my experiences lead me to be.

You can only know the expression on a face as that of being afraid if you know what you look like when you’re afraid. If you have no fear, then you lack the ability to see it in others.. therefor, I am blind to many a thing I observe in others and will naturally miscalculate.

I think when someone is flirting with me, it makes me feel good and stupid at the same time. I think that’s stupid. I think it’s stupid that I think it’s stupid. And so on, and so forth.

I think when someone is talking shit to me, it makes me feel good and superior at the same time. I think that’s stupid. I think it’s stupid that I think it’s stupid. And again, this continues.

I smile when someone says I’m pretty, but why? They knew it’d make me smile, and they got what they wanted. That’s fucked. What did I get? To feel like an ass, that’s what. I can’t NOT smile. It’s like there’s no fucking off switch. I bet if I were the suicidal type, I’d kill myself laughing. ..Or at least grinning.

I think when someone compliments me, it makes me like them. But why? Why would I like someone on the basis that they like me? That’s no reason to really like someone! Would someone like me just because I like them and not for any other reason of their own free will? Would I want someone to like me because I first liked them?

If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.. and god dammit, I want something different.

Kill me for wanting something real.
Stab me for wanting something solid.
Poison me for wanting to be adored, admired, loved.
Hang me for wanting to believe in something I no longer believe in.
Shoot me for wanting something mutual.
Bury me alive for wanting to be loved.




Let’s start this one off with a brief sigh.

I didn’t get much sleep last night because today was the deadline I gave myself to get my car refinanced. ….Fail.

My car is worth amount A, yet I have to pay amount B which a significantly larger amount than that of A.. ergo.. refinance fail.

It’s pretty much whore myself out for the remaining amount, or continue to pay the amount on the loan in my ex’s name. ….Sigh.

Of course, this situation was made entirely worse by the fact that I have to deal with the ex to get it done. …Double sigh.

Are we noticing a trend here?

Also.. the car inspection guys were closed today due to weather. …What. A. Bunch. Of. Pussies.

That is all.

(Ps. When I did sleep, all I remember dreaming of was Gary Oldman. Oh how I love him so.)

I personally think a candy jawbreaker gag is perfect for the on-the-go kidnapper.


Walls are officially done. Closet and entertainment center are still on the operating table, however. But, in the best of ways. They’re bleeding everywhere, but at least it’s a pretty sight. :]

Most unfortunately, the glitter failed. My fault entirely. Walls = white, glitter = silver.. I knew it wouldn’t work, but I tried anyways. Does that make me anything other than retarded?

Something as simple as having my bedroom reflect my personality has already made the biggest effect of me, in nearly every way. I figured, and I’m not sure why it took me so long, that when I was my happiest, I had my bedroom. No, I mean MY bedroom. It screamed “Lena” and nothing else. Ok, maybe it screamed bloody murder, too, but that in itself is screaming “Lena”, so ha! ..So when I have been depressed or just down, I should have done nothing else but look at my surroundings. That’s it. That’s all. That’s fucking simple. And stupid of me to not have realized it before now. Now that my room is beginning to take its crazy, loud, “this could only be the work of lena” shape, I’m happy. I’m deranged and morbid as ever, and happy. Complicated and impossible, and happy. Energetic and creative, and happy. And that’s how it should always be. Some people don’t feed off their environment, while some do. I am the latter, most apparently. It’s MY room. If you can’t tell it’s mine by looking at it, then I’m not doing my job right. lol And I think I’ve done a damn good job on this guy so far.

Oh.. side note. I love my iPod. No, not the iPhone/iPod, but my old classic iPod. I’ve just realized Filip, that’s his name, is alive and telepathic. Yep. You read that correctly. I’ll think of a song, and it’ll come on. Even if it’s not in that playlist. It’s seriously insane. I don’t even usually know the name, artist, or the lyrics, I just think of the tune and BAM. So. I love Filip. For ever and ever.

Aaaaaaand. I’m tired of this atychiphobia crap. I think it’s time I stop. So, ..I shall. :] No more second guessing. No more fear of failure. No more bullshit. The end. Voila. Fin.

Oh yes.. and..
I hate you all.


[Ps. Happy belated bday to CC <33333]

First day complete: success.
The walls are now WHITE. I don’t mean off-white, eggshell, or any of that crap. I mean WWWWWWHHHHIIIIIITTTTTEEEE!!!

It’s so. god. damn. pretty.

Except, it’s flat. But that’s the cheap way to go so sue me.
I’ll go back over it with glitter in a couple of days and then you’ll really be angry.

I really do wish I had red glitter though. Grr. Maybe later.

So the plan is, white walls with silver shiny glitter & glaze on them. Black trim (moulding), and red accents. Accents meaning, the inside of my closet, the inside frame of the window, and possibly the back of my bedroom door.. Hmm.

I’m also thinking the sill on the window should be bbbblack. Since I suppose that technically *is* trim. I’m also going to paint the doorknob black too since it’s already been painted.

I’m not sure why I didn’t do this sooner, aside from the obvious fact that I didn’t have any money. Not that I did when I bought the paint either.. but I pretty much had to say FUCK IT and just do it, or it’d never get done. And it’s the new year. It’s time for shit to happen. :]

I also was inspired by helping Cera paint her room. A lovely shade of lavender, my dear, a lovely shade of lavender. lol. It did turn out nice, especially with the black meshy curtains. Those are pppretty rad.


So today, day two, I will begin on the trim and accents. Or perhaps I should begin on the glitter. Sigh. I suppose glitter will have to come first as most of my crap is still in the closet. lmao. Oh well.

Ok. No more thinking aloud.
Off to work! ..Well, off to Home Depot, then to work! Yes!

Toodloo motha fucka!

<3 lenalandmine

my blog is about .. well, blogging. didn't see that one coming, didja?